Armor in the Morning with Donut and Alan
by Crocodilefan
Summary: A shitty morning talk show about power armor and life.


Revy swiped her keycard and entered the gym. The motion lights turned on, as she was the first person to enter all morning, She sat down at the rowing machine, and picked up the remote to turn on the TV screen, then immediately grimaced, upon seeing what was on.

The room on the screen is bathed in harsh lights; it has two fake plants beside two somewhat uncomfortable looking chairs. In the one on the left sat Franklin Delano Donut, and in the one on the right sat The Alchemist. The jingle played, "Armor in the Morning, with Donut and Alan!"

Donut was the first to speak, "Good morning to all our Brotherhood, Alco, and Vox bases out there, I'm Donut, your favorite bilingual space marine", and then Alan spoke, "And straight outta the Mojave, I'm Alan Mist, this is Armor in the Morning with Donut and Alan"

It was Donut's turn to talk once again, "happy Tuesday, here in Roanapur fall has just begun, and with it a new fall Armor collection."

"We've actually got a lot of interesting armor to look at today; we're finally going to set the record straight regard which of the wasteland power armor's is the best when we talk to our special guest, and I'll show a piece from my personal vault", said Alan.

Revy kept hitting the power off button on the remote, to no use, she wouldn't be surprised if it was programmed that way, the alchemist was a hell of a narcissist, she tried shooting the TV again, it didn't work of course, it was just a holographic projection on the wall, not a physical screen. She cursed herself for forgetting it was Tuesday, she always forgot it was Tuesday, and had to listen to the two of them do their pretend morning fashion show all during her workout. Nobody was even watching, nobody was up this early, nobody but her.

Donut took a cup of coffee and placed it to his helmet as if he were drinking, it was of course, just a show, they loved hamming it up with the morning talk show elements, "The first set of power armor we have today is the 'Talos IV', it's made from steel alloy, and it's design is reminiscent of the ancient Nordic carved armor that the inhabitants of Skyrim have been smithing for eras"

Alan was pretending to take a sip of his coffee, then interjected, "This is one of my favorite of the new armor designs, take note of the shoulder plating, molded after carvings of dragons found in Nordic tombs, whereas the helmet is designed to emulate one of the Skyrim's fiercest predators, the cave bear. Almost all of the moldings for the plating on this armor are actual recovered pieces for full authenticity. The armor includes slots for any augmentations it's user acquires, comes with a bio-link to sync it with any cybernetics it's user may have, it's systems can carry a full A.I. for augmentations that require one, and perhaps most importantly the helmets interior speakers have Bluetooth, so listening to music is no problem whether you're dismantling a raider camp, patrolling hazardous environments, or just wearing it casually'

"Say Alan, where can our viewers go to get this and other fine armors we've showcased here?", Donut asked in a sappy tone.

"Well, the best way to get your hands on this armor would be to go and take a trip you your nearest requisitions officer, and if you just fill out an ERF to prove that you need it for official purposes, Alco will cover most if not all of the cost", Alan turned to Donut, "Well it's time to go to commercial, when we get back, a chat with our special guest".

The commercial itself was just a black screen and bold text reading what the voice over was saying.

"DO YOU LIKE ARMOR?! DO YOU LIKE EXPLOSIONS?! WHAT ABOUT NUCLEAR POWERED ARMOR WITH FLAME JETS ON THE ARMS AND SHOULDERS, AND FISTS THAT CAUSE THINGS TO EXPLODE WHEN YOU PUNCH THEM?! DON'T YOU WANT THAT? I F**KING DO! WHY THE F*CKING SH*T HAVEN'T OUR ENGINEERS BUILT THAT YET!? BUY TORGUE!

There was a beat after the commercial, as if they weren't sure if they really back on air yet, Donut's chair was empty Alan resumed speaking, "Well we're back and today we're going to be talking it out with our special guest to determine once and for all whether the T-51 is really better than the T-45 power armor series, say hello to our special guest, Paladin Jaqueline." A suit of T-51b walked into view and sat in the seat opposite of Alan. "Why don't you tell the people at home about yourself for those that don't know?", he asked.

Jaqueline had a Keltic accent, "Well, I'm technically an AI, a synthetic consciousness in a robot body, I am my armor, and my armor is my skin. And the West-Tek T-series is sort of my heritage, and my body is the T-51b model"

"Well it's no secret I'm a fan of the T-45d series, it's what I've always worn, I think it probably the most well-known symbol of the Brotherhood"

"The most well-known symbol for the Brotherhood is actually innovation, which the T-51 series is a better representation of", she retorted

"If the T-51 is really so superior, then why did West-Tek try to go back towards what they had with the 45 when they built the T-60?", Alan asked.

"The T-60 is not even close to being the highly advanced piece of equipment it's toted as, it's why even the Enclave who kept on advancing after the Great War, worked away from it, and even the best they were capable of coming up with was their Duraframe Hellfire model, which itself is only equal to the T-51b", it was clear that Jaqueline had done her research.

"I will admit that the T-51 is an extraordinary advanced piece of equipment and beats out even the T-60, but the T-45d is", he was cut off midsentence.

"Cumbersome, and not fully realized, you've forgotten, that your armor is no longer even close to being what the T-45d is, you've upgraded and modded beyond what it was ever capable of, including enchantments, but you've forgotten what that armor originally was like: slow, bulky, protective but a drag, the first in a product line is always filled with bugs, the problems with the T-45d were substantiated by numerous sources, problems that weren't fixed until the until the T-51 series, but the press disliked the design and wanted the armor that Americans fought for Alaska for, forgetting that they didn't take Anchorage until the T-51b model was finally finished and put to the front lines, but the design was too ahead of its time so they went back to the T-45's design with the T-60, bringing back a lot of the problems that the T-51 had already solved", there was a good thirty seconds of silence.

"Well, that's all the time we have for our special guest, looks like we came to a draw", he said looking into the camera.

"That was not a draw, you lost.", she said angrily, then stormed off the set, Donut came back and took his seat again.

"Now it's time for our final segment, Alan, you've promised a look at a piece from your personal collection, I've been told that this is a rather dangerous piece", two protectron soldiers wheeled in behind them a glass and steel pod, with several electronic locks on the side sealing it in, behind the glass case was what appeared to be a yellow animatronic rabbit.

"This is the Springlock Armor, Golden Bonnie model, not originally conceived as a power armor, however the various animatronic parts offer substantial resistance to various forms or harm, and the motion servos offer increased strength and mobility, it is also completely fireproof and protects the user from such, the design originally had one fatal flaw, the spring-locks would come loose and crush anyone inside with the animatronic parts if the encountered a small amount of moisture, I've taken out and replaced the spring-locks with sturdier ones, patched up the exterior, and removed the remains the person who last wore the suit", his voice became a monotone as he was describing the was describing the technicals.

"Whoa", was Donut's only response.

"Another thing,… it's haunted", Alan said, "by the spirit of its previous wearer, a child killer, for this reason I keep it locked away in the vault, it must never be worn, I'd have destroyed it long ago, but the other animatronics would not allow it, it is their most mortal enemy, but at the same time their kin", the army protectrons walked back into view and began to wheel away the glass pod.

"Well it would seem as though our two hours are up, join us again next week for more discussions on armor, I'm Donut, he's Alan, and we hope you have a great rest of your day", the jingle played one final time and the channel went dark. Revy sighed with relief and grabbed her water bottle, and exited the gym.


End file.
